No beer and no TV make Homer something something

[mockturle06]

Thursday: It was a dark and stormy night. It really was. Lashings of rain and the loudest thunder I've heard in a long while. It was still a dark and stormy night when I left for work, so again I sing the praises of my uggies, sparing me the misery of having wet shoes all day, as the lane reverted to its true nature and became a creek again, and there was no way of getting across without getting soaked.

It was a horrid, leaky old bus too, which meant I got even wetter just sitting there as it rained as much inside and outside, and when the bus made the violent turn towards the shopping centre, all the rain that had been collecting in the light fitting above me sloshed into my lap, kinda like Flashdance, only a helluva lot less sexy.

The storm kind of curtailed my viewing (and I am determined to at least get some of my required viewing done) but I did squeeze in an episode of Adam Adamant, because just about every other choice paled by comparison. That ol' black magic again (oh, those Swinging Sixties) but what really amused me was the main plot seemed to be Adam and Simms trying to have a quiet weekend in the country together - no chicks. Could this show be any more gay? QAF wasn't this gay. Two old mysoginistic queens having adventures - and they don't even try to disguise it. It amuses me no end. And will Georgie never get the hint? Girlfriend, we so need to talk.

I also watched two episodes of House, the episode that actually aired and the part 2. It wasn't too bad, but House was just mean to Wilson in their one scene. Not funny mean, but real kick puppy Wilson mean. Tsk. Oh yeah, major plot with the others, but like I care. I mean, Cameron is si insipid she sets the cause of feminisim, which, as I saw on a t-shirt the other day, is the radical notion that women are people too, back several decades. It's always Cameron who has to be the nuturing, caring one. Gah. Get a little backbone, woman, if only just to impress House.

I think I'nm overly sensitive because I'm always the one who has to buy teabags, fill the water urn, fill the photocopier, you know, women's work. I bet Cameron is the one who always fills the coffee machine. She has that look about her.

Friday: You wait forever for a bus, and then none come at once. And there I was, cheered this morning because we had a bus that was only ten years old, not thirty (mind you, I used to go to school in a bus that was pushing 50) but the bugger broke down, didn't it. And because it was within sight of the city, rising dramatically over the hill, it took me six very widely spaced buses before one would a) stop and b) had room enough to let me squeeze on board. That was a long, cold, wet wait. Okay, I gotta ask, what sort of fuckwits insist on an extra 1000,000 people moving into this town every year, screaming populate or perish, but will not provide sufficient buses for me to be able to get into work? Hmph.

Anyway, I suppose you want to hear what I thought of Sharpe last night. Um, well, yes. I saw a bit of Sharpe, tis true. Caught the wedding, screamed "don't do it!", but Sharpe did it anyway, and was bemused that the only time Sharpe ever practiced anything near fidelity it was for the sake of Jane. Tsk.

But alas, the bulk of Sharpe I did miss, though they kind of gutted Fortress anyway, not being able to afford a boat. You see, there was an after work function, and I was networking, alright? Okay, sure, I could barely stand when I staggered home, possibly having drunk far more than my usual two glass limit, and yeah, I got home late and missed the start and I guess I must have fallen asleep for I missed the end. Oh dear.

At least it was a fun gathering, for a bit of good news, for a change, out on the historic balcony overlooking the park, and hearing tales of my elders and betters, highlights being one who'd just driven across the US of A and another dragging up stories of Antartic base cocktails (pure alcohol, used in drilling, coloquially called Drillers, shoe polish and breath mints - thus possibly proving everything you've heard about Australians is true).

I know what you're thinking, though: there's been too much dull work stuff and not enough tv. Too bloody right, mate. I'm not at all happy about it. I mean, I wouldn't mind reality intruding on my fantasy life if I was living some fabulous Spelling-esque soap star life, but I ain't. It's all more like some dreary down in the dumps Brit com. I hate it. So let me have my opiate of the masses, dammit. Tv, my drug of choice. Or, to quote Homer: “Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.”

It's all a fiendish plot by those diet nazis. All this week I've done lunch runs for my colleagues when they were chained to their desks, but does anyone bother to feed me when I'm chained to mine? Not on your life, the sods.

Comes a time when a person tires of being everybody's buttmonkey, but I think Mr Finn says it far more eloquently than Mr Harris:

Nobody listens to a word that I say
And at work I'm just a foremans tool
Sitting in the corner with my coffee & tray
All the secretaries think I'm a fool

If war broke out I'd be the last one to know
If there was a fire they'd just leave me to burn
I got just as much to say as any man
But I never seem to get my turn

I don't wanna suffer these conditions no more
Haven't I the right to say
I don't wanna suffer these conditions no more
Nobody takes me seriously anyway
Nobody takes me seriously anyway
Nobody takes me seriously anyway - True Colours


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