The Brit(ish) List

( This week: Benedict Cumberbatch to play Beatles manager Brian Epstein in new biopic, Dan Stevens and More Meet Broadway's Heiress on Opening Night, Ian McKellen and Derek Jacobi to star in new ITV sitcom, David Morrissey reveals historic influences for the Governor, Jude Law Joins Werner Herzog's Queen of the Desert, Colin Firth and Michael Fassbender to explore Genius, Homeland's Damian Lewis Handles Interrogation Like A Boss, McGregor on Born To Be King role, Matt Smith reveals Doctor Who Christmas special details, Tom Hiddleston at BFI London Film Festival, Jamie Bell marries Evan Rachel Wood, Eddie Redmayne At The Harper's Bazaar Women Of The Year Awards, Joseph Mawle reveals challenges he faced filming new movie, James Corden is in the pink, Peter Mullan Sees Sunshine On Leith, Daniel Craig's licence to paint, Idris Elba turns filmmaker after he directs and stars in Mumford and Sons' new music video, Billie Piper and husband Laurence Fox have to rehome their good life livestock, Sean Bean to play a cowboy in Scorched Earth, Charlize Theron And Tom Hardy Aren't Getting Along On Mad Max Set, Emma Stone gets the giggles on date with Andrew Garfield, Martin Freeman On Why Iconic Characters Don't Intimidate Him, John Simm talks Everyday life, John Barrowman Guest Stars as a Mysterious Starling City Businessman, Joseph Fiennes takes on daddy duties, Andrew Lincoln surprised by new gruesomeness of Walking Dead )

pink flamingos

You could just about ski down the side of the mountainous washing basket, resembling as it does the logo for Paramount Pictures right now. Oh dear. At least, for the sake of my sanity, it wasn't particulary adequate washing weather on the weekend while I was out and about, getting a bit of kulcha down the old gullet.

I could prove the inclementness of the weather if my camera, blighted beast that it is, didn't keep on insisting on turning the blackest boiling skies into little white puffy clouds, and the roughest of seas into the most placid of lakes.

I think I'll call it the Monet filter, as it turns every damn thing I try to take into lily ponds, and if anyone can tell me how to turn the damn thing off there will be some squeezy hugging involved. I want grim and black and dire. Thank you.

Not that old Monet was all lily ponds. One of my favourites of his resides at the NGV, and I love it for the little chap down in the corner, desperately clutching his hat. Not only does this give the picture a feel for the robust hat imperiling weather depicted, but also a touch of comedy, as Monsieur is about to lose his chapeau at any moment.

But the point is, when I went round the cliffs at Bondi on Saturday, it was a lot more dangerous to hats than the camera makes it seem, damn its eyes.
( more: the devil is in the detail )